(sung to i'm a little tea pot)

i'm a little herpes spot, red and round,
down to your sacral ganglion i am bound.

when i get all puffed up, and the virions want out,
get some anti-virals and WIPE ME OUT!

feel free to add your own....

---

Ayup! It's the full Moon tonight.

I'm a little lesion, sore and itchy,
When I've got 'em, I sure get bitchy.

Rajah

When I have a date, I can count on you
When ever I want sex you will be there too.

When I really couldn't give a shit if you were here, You'll go into hiding and you'll disappear.

It's just because you love me, this I know
cuz you seem to be with me wherever I go.

Too bad I can't love you in return,
but herpes you suck, wish you'd crash and burn.

Oh god, time for bed!!!!

At all three of you!! Thanks for the laugh!

light

i nominate us for the nobel herpes poetry award!
hehehehe maya angelou watch your back!
ROFLMAO!!!

c'mon others out there in lurking land give it a try - ode to H! do it......it feels pretty damn good :)

Tingle Spells

Tingle spells, tingle spells,
Blisters came today.
Oh this sucks to have outbreaks,
This shit won't go away -ay!

Tingle spells, tingle spells,
I'm in a crusty way,
Pop some pills, no sex for days
All I can do is pray - hey!

Slashing through my sheets, on a very sleepless night,
Pain keeps me awake, crying all the while (boo hoo hoo)
Sores on my tail throb, making spirits bleak,
How sad it is to have this crap! This best not last all week!

Oh! Tingle spells, tingle spells,
Blisters came today.
Oh this sucks to have outbreaks,
This shit won't go away - hey!

You're right Ruby! This is a blast! =0)
Mindy

That was really funny :O)

first it's great to hear from you second this is a keeper - i' printing this one and it goes on the refrigerator door hall of fame!!!!!!

thanks for the BIG LAUGHS!
have a great holiday!

Ruby!
I consider it a true honor to make it to your refriderator door hall of fame. Honest!
Good to hear from you too sweety. Sorry I haven't been the best at keeping in touch. It's a busy life writing herpes songs to the soundtracks of our lives (hehehe). In all honesty, I've been very busy with lots of things going on in my life, not the least of which is being a single working mother of two extremely active kiddos. But life has been good!
Don't be surprised to get a little email from me one of these days and you have a fantastic holiday season yourself!

XOXO
Mindy

happiest of holidays - please do stop by more often. ***WE MISS YOU!!!!***

and thanks for the laugh and smile.

love to the kiddos too and please do keep in touch BTW - i have prostate study sites in CO.... :)
maybe we can chat in person one of these days - i'll buy the beers!!!!

please do e-mail!

lots o' love!
-m-

Mindy:

That post is gonna make me laugh all day! I'm printing it out too - it's too great not to keep!

Mair

That was brilliant! Hey, folkses, we should publish a volume of these gems!

NOTE: THIS MESSAGE WAS LASTED EDITED ON 14:32:21, 12/07/98

Oh god, I can't stop laughing.
Thanks for taking the time to create something so humorous.
Juli

Excellent, Mindy!

There once was a virus named herpes
In my ganglion there it was lurking
But some Famvir I got
And I gave it a shot
And now that 'ole herpes is sulking

Ogden Nash I ain't....lol

Mair

There once was a virus precarious,
Whose symptoms were many and random, that is to say various.
It found me one day,
In the usual way,
And since finding someone who shares so much more with me than merely this little condition, my life has been glorious.

;)

and so there i was in my B.V.D.'s,
after we had talked about S.T.D.'s

should have known,
after all i am grown

was only supposed to be a little yeast,
but turned out to be the Herpes beast

when asked where from came this flu
She replied "Nantuckett"!
the only thing left for me to do,
was to say "F*** IT"!!

.....I gotta admit, Tin, you really make my day sometimes.

tingle tingle, little sore
how i got you, i'm not sure
up there in my nerves so shy
til i stress and you say "hi"
tingle tingle, little sore
how i got you, i'm not sure

---

waa waa, her-pes
never any fun,
bliss-ter, bliss-ter
makes me wanna run

got it as a present
not so long ago
now i'd like to give it back
how much? you'll never know

waa waa, her-pes
never any fun,
bliss-ter, bliss-ter
makes me wanna run

---

oh, i got sores in lo-o-o-ow places,
where the urine burns and the famvir chases
those sores away
and i'll be okay

cuz i don't like those a v s's
so i'll just have to co-onfess
that i've got sores in low places

It's the winner! Thanks for the laugh!!!

Katy....

Sores in low-w-w-w places!!! What a hoot! Garth would be proud of you!

Mair

herpes hereps.. say it outloud..
hold your head up
only you cover me in your shroud
oh herpes herpes i know your the best
you never stop bothering me its no contest
youve proven that your a friend
continually reminding me that youll be here till the end

Blue Christmas (Elvis Version)

I'll have a blu-hu-uu Christmas with you...

I'll be so bluuuu just thinkin' about you...

Ulcer-aaaaations of red

On my gang-li-on tree...

Won't be the same, if you are here with me;

And when those blu-hu-uu zovirax..start fallin..

That's when those blu-hu-uu mem'ries...start callin...

You'll be doooo-in all right, with your Christ-mas OB site...

But I'll... have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas.

As Elvis would say, Weed, for the updated version of Blue Christmas. Humor really is one of the best types of therapy isn't it!

Happy Holidays to you!

Mair

---

suggested song titles and artists. (Without regard to whether they are still alive or not.)

The obvious first one is Kate's "I've got Sores in Low Places" Garth Brooks

Then Weeds "Blue Christmas" by Elvis.

"I got my Herpes in San Francisco" Tony Bennet

"Itching after Midnight" Patsy Cline

"Those Old Low Down Herpes Blues" B.B. King

"The battle Hymn of the Herpetics" ??

"The Herpetics Waltz" (Tennessee waltz tune for you younger folks)
"I was dancing,
with my lesions,
to the herpetics waltz,
When a bottle of famvir I saw,

Introduced it to my lesions,
and while they were dancing,
my famvir stole my lesions away,

Oh, I remember the night and the Herpetics waltz...."

Yes, what a blast..

Rajah

NOTE: THIS MESSAGE WAS LASTED EDITED ON 11:01:22, 12/08/98

YOU ALL MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD! that i had a mini accident here at my desk - thank god it's that time o' month or i'd be going home :)

we have to archive these!!!!

evlis and the tenn. waltz and garth brooks will now have a new slant to them.

love to you all!

**can't stop chuckling!!!!**

NOTE: THIS MESSAGE WAS LASTED EDITED ON 18:49:42, 12/09/98

"Burnin' Thighs" by the Bee Gees

Well you can tell by the way I move and walk,

I'm havin' an OB, no time to talk.

Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.

And now it's alright,

it's OK,

but you still look the other way.

We can try

to understand

the Herpes Virus'

effect on man.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,

you've got burnin' thighs, burnin' thighs.

Feel your body shakin' and everything quakin'

and we've got burnin' thighs, burnin' thighs.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, burnin' thighs, burnin' thighs

Ah, ha, ha, ha, burnin' thiiii-iiii-iiighs!!!

get me fired don't ya!.....loved it...installing mirrored spinning disco globe as i write!

you're too, too much chickie!

That was great...I will be laughing all day..

Sing to the Oscar Meyer bologna tune:

my herpes has a first name
its pain-in-the-bloody-ass
my herpes has a sec-ond name
its when-will-this-shit-pass
It pisses me off most every day
and if you ask me why i'll saayyy...
'cause the herpes virus has a way of
showing up when i want to 'play'.

ohmygosh, elle!! That is SO good!! ROFLMAO!!

Here's my lame attempt.

Hum it to "How deep is your love" by the BeeGee's

I feel your sting in the morning sun
I feel your itch in the pouring rain
and the moment that you leave me clearing up
I feel your presence once again

And you come to me nearly everday
and I'm so sick of you I don't know what to say
And you don't need to show
How deep is your hate

How deep is your hate
How deep is your hate
I really don't want to know
cause we're living in a diseased world
breaking us down
when they all should let us be
we don't belong together, don't you see

sha na na na na
na na na na na na na

NOTE: THIS MESSAGE WAS LASTED EDITED ON 12:22:19, 12/13/98

YOU ARE A HOOT!

hope you do get some oscar meyer hot dog time sans the H :)...hehehe

To everyone who posted LOL what great holiday cheer. Great idea Ruby. They are all keepers.
JAM

I like Ballpark, cuz they PLUMP when ya cook 'em

Why did it take me so long to read this thread?

I was creative once....

Will think. You guys are the best. Next to mine, of course.

Mine. Woooo. Now THAT's a thought.

Gotta do this... hmmmm.... I'll be back.

NOTE: THIS MESSAGE WAS LASTED EDITED ON 14:46:25, 12/17/98

silent night,
iraq's a blight

experts fight
debate last night

round yon televsion, all of us bound
clinton's monologue, the only sound

sleep and think about peace
and if house voting will cease

silent night
bill's secert plight

are there red dots
on private spots

round his first staff monica gripped
impeach the lecher the republicans quipped

is this what america desires
christmas with politicians and liars

christmas with politicians and liars.......