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"brokenhearted"

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mom Apr-03-00, 04:59 PM (CST)

"brokenhearted"

my beautiful daughter was diagnosed last week with hsv2 and i am heartbroken...i do not know how to help her because i feel as though her life is ruined...i have so many ?'s and dont know where to turn...i would like for someone to im me so we can talk about what i can do to help her not hinder her...my email me (atequilaa@aol.com) and let me know what time i can talk to someone, i am usually on at night...help please my heart is breaking...

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RE: brokenhearted, Keyser Soze, Apr-03-00, (1)
Hi, Mom, it's M'sMom, M'sMom, Apr-03-00, (2)
RE: brokenhearted, netnation, Apr-04-00, (3)

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Keyser Soze Apr-03-00, 06:50 PM (CST)

1. "RE: brokenhearted"

"Mom",
My name is Kate and I'm 21 years old. I have had herpes since I was 18. I understand your pain and heartache and sadness at your daughter's diagnosis, but I applaud you (give you a standing ovation, even!) for coming forward and asking for help. I sincerely wish my mother had done the same. You said your daughter was diagnosed last week--this is still a *very* difficult time for her--she may be pretending that nothing is wrong or that she's over it, be deep down she's hurting. The best thing you can do for her right now is be there. Encourage her to talk about her feelings and do your very best not to be judgemental. My mother would come out with comments like "Now you're not going to be able to have children" or when I started dating someone new "you're not going to sleep with this one too, are you?" and "does he know about your "problem"?". I assure you that your daughter is beating herself up enough right now for making a (probably) stupid decision along the way. She doesn't need help.
You can remember that herpes is NOT the end of the world. It was just the beginning for me--I began to carefully consider the sort of relationship I wanted to be in. I stopped dating the losers and lowlifes because I thought I couldn't do better. Now I am dating a WONDERFUL young man who loves me for who I am despite the disease. Herpes is not a "problem", the only problem is the ignorance and social stigma that surrounds it. Kudos to you Mom for getting educated and informed. Your daughter is hurting right now but you can tell her that it WILL get better--the first year sucked for me mentally and the first couple of years weren't the greatest as far as outbreak frequency went, but it does get better!!
I also anticipate that M'sMom, an invaluable forum participant will be responding to you on the HHP or possibly via email--her daughter was diagnosed several months ago and she stumbled upon us looking for information.
Regards and best of luck to you and your daughter--she is lucky to have a mother who cares as much as you.

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M'sMom Apr-03-00, 07:48 PM (CST)

2. "Hi, Mom, it's M'sMom"

Hi, there, Mom!
A big ((((hug)))) for you. This first part is awful, isn't it? I know that it would have been *much* easier on me to have contracted gh myself than to see my child with it. Plus, you can't really let out everything you feel, because you need to be strong for her. I really (and I do mean REALLY) feel your pain on this. Congratulations on not letting your anguish come out in judgemental comments or anger. Your little one needs your love and support right now and you are doing the right thing to learn all you can to help her.
My e-mail is listed above, and I will be around most of the evening, so please drop me a note if you want to chat. In case it takes a while for us to hook up, let me tell you a few things you will want to know.
1) There are good antiviral treatments available that can sometimes reduce the severity of future outbreaks. (See the "early use of famvir thread on the technical board.) Read up on this, and if your daughter isn't already on a similar routine, run don't walk to your doc and get her started. Not only are you taking steps to improve her long term health, you will make yourself feel better.
2) There is life after herpes, even for a teenager (I don't know how old your daughter is, mine is 17). Although she had a rough three weeks with her primary outbreak, she is still doing well in school and cheerleading. She's told a few close friends and a boyfriend, and they have all been really good about it.
3) Your daughter can still have a normal married life, normal pregnacies and normal children. There are a couple of precautions she will need to observe, but it's generally no worse on her than, say, asthma or allergies.
I recommend Dr. Steven Sack's book, "The Truth About Herpes" for you to read. Read it yourself, read it to her or with her when she's ready, keep it for reference. It will answer many of your questions, and Dr. Sack's reassuring and matter of fact approach really helps you keep your chin up.
Hang in there, Mom. The fact that you are here and learning instead of freaking, denying or accusing makes you a real treasure. Your daughter is lucky to have you. As I said, I'm here, my e-mail is msmom@racoon.com if you want to talk.
Take care,
M'sMom
p.s. No matter how this happened, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, o.k.?

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netnation Apr-04-00, 06:38 PM (CST)

3. "RE: brokenhearted"

I'm sorry to hear that, i just got diagnosed myself but knew I had it for a while, so I guess I was more prepared.
It will take time for the shock to wear off a little, but life will get better. Herpes is a mild setback not a lifethreatening illness. Education is very important to anyone just diagnosed and support as a family is as well.
I have a young son who I am worried about as well, so I understand parental concern. I received support from beautiful members of this wonderful site and so will you if you need it.
If you need to chat or vent I'll be here, for you, or anyone else here.
e-mail: cyber_comm@hotmail.com

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mom	Apr-03-00, 04:59 PM (CST)
"brokenhearted"
my beautiful daughter was diagnosed last week with hsv2 and i am heartbroken...i do not know how to help her because i feel as though her life is ruined...i have so many ?'s and dont know where to turn...i would like for someone to im me so we can talk about what i can do to help her not hinder her...my email me (atequilaa@aol.com) and let me know what time i can talk to someone, i am usually on at night...help please my heart is breaking...
	Top

Keyser Soze	Apr-03-00, 06:50 PM (CST)
1. "RE: brokenhearted"
"Mom", My name is Kate and I'm 21 years old. I have had herpes since I was 18. I understand your pain and heartache and sadness at your daughter's diagnosis, but I applaud you (give you a standing ovation, even!) for coming forward and asking for help. I sincerely wish my mother had done the same. You said your daughter was diagnosed last week--this is still a very difficult time for her--she may be pretending that nothing is wrong or that she's over it, be deep down she's hurting. The best thing you can do for her right now is be there. Encourage her to talk about her feelings and do your very best not to be judgemental. My mother would come out with comments like "Now you're not going to be able to have children" or when I started dating someone new "you're not going to sleep with this one too, are you?" and "does he know about your "problem"?". I assure you that your daughter is beating herself up enough right now for making a (probably) stupid decision along the way. She doesn't need help. You can remember that herpes is NOT the end of the world. It was just the beginning for me--I began to carefully consider the sort of relationship I wanted to be in. I stopped dating the losers and lowlifes because I thought I couldn't do better. Now I am dating a WONDERFUL young man who loves me for who I am despite the disease. Herpes is not a "problem", the only problem is the ignorance and social stigma that surrounds it. Kudos to you Mom for getting educated and informed. Your daughter is hurting right now but you can tell her that it WILL get better--the first year sucked for me mentally and the first couple of years weren't the greatest as far as outbreak frequency went, but it does get better!! I also anticipate that M'sMom, an invaluable forum participant will be responding to you on the HHP or possibly via email--her daughter was diagnosed several months ago and she stumbled upon us looking for information. Regards and best of luck to you and your daughter--she is lucky to have a mother who cares as much as you.
	Top

M'sMom	Apr-03-00, 07:48 PM (CST)
2. "Hi, Mom, it's M'sMom"
Hi, there, Mom! A big ((((hug)))) for you. This first part is awful, isn't it? I know that it would have been much easier on me to have contracted gh myself than to see my child with it. Plus, you can't really let out everything you feel, because you need to be strong for her. I really (and I do mean REALLY) feel your pain on this. Congratulations on not letting your anguish come out in judgemental comments or anger. Your little one needs your love and support right now and you are doing the right thing to learn all you can to help her. My e-mail is listed above, and I will be around most of the evening, so please drop me a note if you want to chat. In case it takes a while for us to hook up, let me tell you a few things you will want to know. 1) There are good antiviral treatments available that can sometimes reduce the severity of future outbreaks. (See the "early use of famvir thread on the technical board.) Read up on this, and if your daughter isn't already on a similar routine, run don't walk to your doc and get her started. Not only are you taking steps to improve her long term health, you will make yourself feel better. 2) There is life after herpes, even for a teenager (I don't know how old your daughter is, mine is 17). Although she had a rough three weeks with her primary outbreak, she is still doing well in school and cheerleading. She's told a few close friends and a boyfriend, and they have all been really good about it. 3) Your daughter can still have a normal married life, normal pregnacies and normal children. There are a couple of precautions she will need to observe, but it's generally no worse on her than, say, asthma or allergies. I recommend Dr. Steven Sack's book, "The Truth About Herpes" for you to read. Read it yourself, read it to her or with her when she's ready, keep it for reference. It will answer many of your questions, and Dr. Sack's reassuring and matter of fact approach really helps you keep your chin up. Hang in there, Mom. The fact that you are here and learning instead of freaking, denying or accusing makes you a real treasure. Your daughter is lucky to have you. As I said, I'm here, my e-mail is msmom@racoon.com if you want to talk. Take care, M'sMom p.s. No matter how this happened, it is NOT YOUR FAULT, o.k.?
	Top

netnation	Apr-04-00, 06:38 PM (CST)
3. "RE: brokenhearted"
I'm sorry to hear that, i just got diagnosed myself but knew I had it for a while, so I guess I was more prepared. It will take time for the shock to wear off a little, but life will get better. Herpes is a mild setback not a lifethreatening illness. Education is very important to anyone just diagnosed and support as a family is as well. I have a young son who I am worried about as well, so I understand parental concern. I received support from beautiful members of this wonderful site and so will you if you need it. If you need to chat or vent I'll be here, for you, or anyone else here. e-mail: cyber_comm@hotmail.com
	Top

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