I came to say goodbye to this website. I found this site by accident a couple of weeks ago, and feel it is an amazing site for Advice, Support and Comfort in the many many issues that surround hsv. When it comes to advice on when to tell, how to tell, should I tell, and a million other questions that are out there, everyone seems to be anxious to help. But, when someone asked a very specific question regarding transmission, she received sixty some posts. Most of them were yes vs. no. And some got heated when challenged. Do you think this actually did her any good? And since that post, a couple of others have appeared. I just can't take part in something that refuses to seek outside help when it is obvious that in here you are mainly going to get opinion. Before you say that outside help IS merely opinion, let me say that it is professional counselors, who are trained in updated information.
Someone said that the experts only give info for generalized instances. I said CHALLENGE them. Tell them your specific question or concern just as you have told everyone on these forums. But I seriously doubt anyone has done that. Because it is my feeling that most of you here prefer to stay in these "walls" rather than seek outside advise on matters such as these.
It has gotten me to the point where I cannot continue to visit this site, because I am beginning to question myself and all that I THOUGHT I knew. I have become paranoid and nervous around my kids. Why is that? Because in the time I have spent here, I have read countless times over that most kids by age 5 will have contracted oral herpes, that hsv 1 is so much better to have than hsv 2 because the ob are less frequent and severe. That is not always true. My husband and I are both hsv 2 and he has had one ob other than his primary in six yrs. I have about three/yr and they are mild. We don't have oral H, but it seems the majority either states we have it and don't know it or we will probably get it. Why do you KNOW this, because you have it ? It may be true, but I will just say this on hsv 1 and your ideas that it is so easily passed around. My niece has hsv 1 since she was probably nine. NOONE in her family nor mine has it. We don't treat her any differently, we don't designate a separate drinking glass, silverware or anything else. She knows when she has an ob and doesn't kiss anyone. Other than that she is not looked at as a potential risk. So to tell everyone that they will most likely get it is only putting fear and panic in their minds and hearts.
This is not support nor therapy. To me, this is coming from people who feel rotten about themselves or their situation and won't feel better without posting this stuff so others may feel worse. And no, I am not in denial. I know quite a bit about this virus actually. If anyone has read my intro post, and my reply about pregnancy and hsv or my reply on dosages, you'd know that I have done my research when we were pregnant. I subscribed to the Helper ( which is wonderful )and called the hotlines often during my first pregnancy.
When someone asks a specific question, do them a favor and quide them to reputable websites and phone numbers and still share your experience, but don't try your hardest to convince him/her that just because you think you caught H that way from a toilet, tub, chewing on a pencil or whatever, that it is going to happen. That is not helping that person. It is a wonderful thing to debate, but stop and think about the person who is hanging on your every word. Give them some sound advice, and urge them to call a counselor. Doesn't anyone ask their physician these things? There are many free and discounted clinics out there as well that are well informed.
This is not sour grapes because I feel no one listened to my advice. I just cannot continue to visit here when it seems so obvious most feel they can advise on issues of scientific fact within this forum only. Rubes has strongly suggessted to visit websites and call hotlines as well, and each time it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears.
Feel free to post replies, but don't do it for my benefit as I won't be checking in any longer. I am not angry, just frustrated and dissappointed. I at first thought I stumbled upon something wonderful, but now I realize that I have come to terms with my status a long time ago, and to come here has only put doubts in my head about things. I don't need doubts. I have felt comfortable with H and learned to live with it. But now I must go and clear my head from all of this. I must admit I was becoming addicted to this site, but when I started seeing all of the stuff circulating around the transmission post, especially the one by the person who stated she was a virgin and caught h via a toilet seat. God, it just got to be too much.
Keep up the good work on comforting and sharing stories. And good luck to rubes, I know you had urged people to seek out web sites and hotlines as well. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. To tell people it CAN happen is a lie. At best, no one knows for sure, least of all us. At least the hotline people have updated info at their fingertips. What are some of you afraid of, being told you did not contract H via your toilet?
Good luck to those ladies who want to have children. It is very much possible. Ask your OB and most will tell you the same and talk to them about suppressive therapy at the end. Things change all of the time, so be sure to get the latest information.
peace,
Lakeland