Eds' bio

My story: I was always that girl who insisted on using protection- it was almost a joke with my friends about how I would kick a guy out if he gave me a hard time about not using a condom. I had met and was dating a guy. We attended a wedding together where we had too much to drink and had unprotected sex after the wedding. Afterwards I was very nervous and upset about it, but my friend calmed me down and assured me that mistakes happen and I just wouldn't do it again.

Two days later I was very irritated in the genital area. But I was so nervous about not having used a condom I thought I was overreacting. The next day I had a cluster of open sores. I knew immediately what it was and was frantic. I called and luckily was able to get an immediate appointment with a doctor in my primary doctor's office. She looked and said it looked like it could be herpes but she thought it was more likely an allergy because it was missing some of the traits herpes primary obs usually have (all traits which I have never heard of anywhere else). She did a culture and sent me on my way.

A few days later I went back because I had a new sore and was headed out of town and was worried about having flu symptoms while I was away. She assured me that the flu symptoms would have come FIRST but told me that the lab's initial look at the DNA structure of my culture looked like it was probably herpes, so she gave me a prescription for acyclovir.

Meanwhile, the guy I had been dating had fallen off the face of the earth. I hadn't told him anything that had been going on because I wanted to wait until I knew for sure what it was, and because initially I didn't think I had gotten it from him because I didn't realize you could develop symptoms so quickly after contact.

After a month of trying to track him down we exchanged emails where he told me he had stopped calling me because he felt like we weren't looking for the same things in a relationship. I told him that was an immature way to deal with it, but regardless there was something we needed to discuss. He asked me if I was pregnant and I told him no, but that we really needed to talk. He told me he'd call me that weekend.

He didn't call and wouldn't answer his phone when I called him. I left the news on his voice mail, and told him that with the timing it seemed very likely I had gotten it from him. That he may have it and not even know and that he should call his doctor. I never heard from him again.

HHP has been really helpful in helping me accept this. I have come to see it is really an inconvenience. Don't get me wrong- it's one I wish I didn't have!!!! But it could be worse...

Medical experience: I was diagnosed with HSV2 by culture with my primary. I saw 3 doctors in the first month. I cried through all my doctors' appointments and all of my doctors were very sympathetic, but told me it wasn't a big deal and that so many people had it. My gyn was the best. She was most informed and most helpful. She was the first to talk about suppressive meds, and after six months when I went back in tears because I had had six OBs in six months and had problems every month during my period, she told me that happens to many women (I was the third that week who had come to her with that complaint) and immediately put me on suppressives. I've never had any problem getting meds and she's always available if I have problems or questions.

The only thing is I wish I had known to ask for a blood test during my primary. While ultimately it probably doesn't matter, I would have liked to know if this was a virus that had been sitting around in my nerve bundle waiting to make an appearance or if I had really just gotten it from the wedding guy.

Telling: I told 3 friends right away and they have been an irreplaceable support to me. None of my family know. I have only had "the talk" once with someone I'd been friends with for 2 years but had progressed to a romantic relationship. The guy bailed- he recently contacted me after 5 months of no contact, but I didn't return his call. I've started posting in my online personals ads (non H sites) that I have HSV and have received many positive responses, both from H+ and H- people. I have met guys through that method and dated them without any H problems.