I'm new to all this and have never posted any message related to all this. I had a colp a few weeks ago and am seeing my doctor today to go over the results. Its scary to think about it and have to go through this all alone no less!
I did the colp on my own, didn't tell anyone and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Its the waiting to hear what your results are that scares the shit out of me!!
I'm educating myself pretty quickly about all this and its comforting to know I'm not the only one out there.
My question to you is how did you cured things on your own.. you wrote in your blog, "I cleared the virus totally on my own without having to get surgery (damn I LOVE being able to say that now)."
I'm very curious to find out how you did this.
Any advice or help on this would be most appreciated, during a time of confusion and worry, its nice to know I'm not alone, and I should not be ashamed.
Thank for taking the time to read this.

A

Man, it's just so great not to feel alone.

Just for the record, I think you should tell your boyfriend, so he can go to a doctor and see if he's alright. I believe guys do not usually suffer as much as we girls from this and most of them continue healthy, normal.

But I think it is your moral duty to tell him and your future partners about this. If you love him, you want him to be healthy, right! and even if you don't love someone... if I just met a guy and liked him it would be humane for him to let me know if there is anything he suffers from that can be a threat for me. (Talking about this sucks, I know!!!! I was very afraid and in tears when I told my then boyfriend, but hey nothing can happen to them that is really serious, he may already have it even... there is no sense in trying to know who got it from who, it's just widespread and men are passive carriers, it may be possible that he passed it on to you).

I wish you health and courage!

grateful,
clarity

GFC, your attitude is AWESOME and I love the way you remain so positive about everything. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this worry, but it's great to know that you've been through this and come out the other side! And that you can laugh at it now. I hope you keep posting here because it really, really helps to hear from you. I've been thinking about the shame and what you said about letting it go, and I've been trying to do that since I last posted. Letting go of some of the shame means that I'm less angry at my ex - in fact I've not really thought about him in the last 2 days since I let off steam here. Poor guy, he really had no clue and I've absolutely no reason to think differently. We ended things in a very friendly fashion and he was a very nice boyfriend. Just not Mr. Right (whatever that is!). (((HUGS))) back to you!!!

In terms of telling someone, I think you're right and that I probably do need to tell someone. The thing is I just can't decide who. I'm finding that the more I educate myself about this the more I know that an abnormal pap isn't the end of the world (far from it) but the problem is that people who DON'T know about it seem to think it is. And I don't want to have to calm someone else down in addition to myself. I think I'm mention to my mum that I need to have further examination and maybe ask her to come with me. She's not the most calm person in the world but she can be a good mum when she needs to be. I'll think about it... I dunno. Maybe I'll just keep posting here, as this is where I seem to find the right kind of support.

Clarity, I know just how you feel. Again I'd hate anyone to experience this whole thing but then again I'm glad I'm not the only one! I feel a lot less isolated coming here. It's scary shit, but I KNOW we can support each other through this and come out the other side. We will all be okay. In terms of my treatment, I had my warts treated with some kind of acid at the docs. It hurt like shit for about 2 minutes, then I felt fine. And I guess I was kind of lucky, I haven't had any recurrences. I was the opposite of you in that I had the warts first and then when that was dealt with I got the pap result 2nd. My attitude with the warts was very positive and I think that might have had a lot to do with it. I even managed to turn it into a positive that having HPV would ultimately really "separate the men from the boys" when it came to finding a great guy! Unfortunately I haven't been able to carry that through into the abnormal paps - probably because as GFC says, the word "cancer" is enough to make anyone freak out. Give the warts time, and I'm sure your body will get rid of them on its own. In addition to treatment make sure you're eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins and getting rest and staying as positive as possible (I know it's hard!).

Abbie, thanks for your post. I'd love to contact you to discuss this. I'm super impressed by your attitude and your obvious strength. I'd like to drop you a line, but I"m not sure where to do that - feeling a bit stoopid here.

HUGS to everyone!

Suzy

-clarity

It's sounds like you're doing so much better already. You have a positive attitude and you're not going to let these stand in your way of living a happy and healthy life. I'm impressed, I certainly was not this positive when I was diagnosed years ago. Granted I was only 16 then, but still, I can tell you are going to be just fine!!

I spoke with the nurse to make an appointment for my colp. and she made me feell a lot better. She said that even if they could detect that I may eventually get cervical cancer it wouldnt actually happen for another 8-10 years. Cerv. Cancer is very slow progressing. In fact, she wouldnt even schedule the thing for another 6-8 weeks and as it turns mine won't be untill August. So hopefully I'll be able to put it out of my mind for a while. Anyhow, you may already know this but you should take advil or aleve about an hour before going in for the colp., in case of cramping. Keep me posted and I would love to hear from ya, if you have Aol instant messenger, my screename's AbbieStar888. If not let me know how to best reach you because my email has my last name so I'm a bit paranoid about posting it here.

Also, about your mom, she may surprise you and pull thru. I had no choice but to let my mom in on the herpes because I was only 16. So I had to tell her I lost my virginity to my boyfriend so that she could schedule me an appointment at her gyno because i just didnt have the resources at that time to do it on my own. She took me in that fatefull day and I had to tell her that the Dr. told me I had genital herpes. Granted I hit her with a big whammy but she did pretty well with it in retrospect. Although also in retrospect telling me "I hope you learned your lesson" wasnt the most sensitive thing to say to a daughter in my position but she's form another generation so I guess I can let it slide. But, I did however call my mom about the colp thing and she was very supportive and didn't freak me out more like I had assumed she would. She just got out her old medical dictionary and read the facts over the phone. She even offered to fly all the way out here for the proceudre, for moral support. Which was a nice gesture I thought. I definitely think you should consider telling her or someone else and like I said earlier you don't have ot mention anything about the GW, many people without STDS gave abnomal paps. But then, that's totally up to your comfort leve. But I guarantee the more you talk and hear about these issues on this site and get the facts, the better equipped you will be to talk about things when the time comes. I've even printed up packets for guys I've dated. Having the good facts makes it feel less scary and horrible and more mater of fact and nomral. Again, keep me posted about things.

Stay positive

Abbie

-clarity

Good luck with your second colp Clarity. You have the right attitude about things and to be reluctant to what to go thru the procedure again. I would feel the same way and wonder if it were really needed. Better to be safe than to be sorry. Any advice for those of us who haven't gone thru the procedure?

Abbie

-clarity

An ASCUS pap can be caused by a yeast infection. An LSIL pap should not be caused by a yeast infection. Generally ASCUS is referred to as "abnormal" and LSIL as "low grade (or mild) dysplasia". But as the term suggests "abnormal" can be applied to an pap reading that is not normal, so I shouldn't make assumptions on what that reading was. Usually if a pap is only ASCUS they will just ask you to repeat the pap 3-6 months later (because it is so often caused by yeast, discharge, etc...)But for an LSIL pap they generally either do an HPV test or get you in for a colp. In some situations they will send you for a colp even if the reading was just ASCUS to be careful (eg. I had an LSIL pap so went for a colp which looked clean, they did another pap there that showed up ASCUS and decided to have me back for another colp in six months).

I hope this is making sense, the whole thing kind of makes my head spin. Anyway I suggest that you ask to look at your chart with the results all the way along. Doctors dumb down things quite a lot and it makes it very difficult to assess what the actual situation is a lot of the time. The secretary at the colp. clinic for example told me when I called for my results after the first colp that "things hadn't gotten better" so I needed to come back for another colp in six months. I finally got the results sent to my doctors office where I saw that in fact things HAD gotten better, they just hadn't become perfect!

Hope everyone is doing well!
GFC

As for me, I bit the bullet and told my sis-in-law who is a nurse, and a fantastic person. We had a great conversation and she totally put my mind at ease about the whole thing - stigma of hpv as well as the cancer issue. She also told my brother (asking my permission first of course) who just called me to make sure I was feeling ok and said I MUST call if i get worried this week, and also to check in after the coloscopy. Both of them totally cool, non-judgemental and just wonderful. I must say I feel a lot better having shared this with someone. Even if I won't have anyone with me for the hospital appointment I'll feel really supported now between you guys and my sis-in-law and brother!

The black clumpy discharge is probably dried blood. It's worth a call to your doctor, just to put your mind at ease.

Protected or unprotected sex doesn't make much difference with hpv. Condoms don't cover enough area to prevent transmission. Your bf probably already had it before the unprotected sex. Even so, it might be a good idea to continue using condoms for awhile. The scientific evidence on that isn't clear enough at this time to say one way or the other with certainty.

I don't know the timing on all this, but he may even have given it to you. Not that it matters. This is one that almost everyone gets, sooner or later. Most people never find out that they have it.

Guys can get warts, but being infected doesn't guarantee that warts will appear. Penile dysplasia is possible, but it's rare. For the most part, it doesn't do anything to guys.

Here are a couple of links to information about hpv. Get yourself educated on the subject, so you know what to say when you talk to him about it, and maybe show him the links, too.

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_hpv.cfm
http://cme.asccp.org/faq/histHPV.cfm

and windy thank you so much. and most likely he does have it already. cuz we are extremely sexually active and the fact that he can get it even with a condom definately makes me think that he does. its goin to be hard for me to tell him..im just so scared it will ruin things. but he is very well educated on it because he thought he had it one time which helps. he isnt ignorant and wont like freak out because he doesnt know wat it is. i am fortunate to have the relationship that i do with him because i kno he will understand despite my fears of it ruining things.

and it is crazy how common it has become. i wish they would find a cure for it! it would save me all this stress lol! and i read that it can clear itself from your body over the years. do u kno if this is true?

I wish you health and courage. Wow, I am so impressed of how better I feel I'm not the only one scared, changing my entire life while going through an STD. But we can do it!

Kudos!! you're not alone!

Sandra

s

Second, just get the plantars warts cut off. I went thru the whole freezing nonsense for awhile, and finally said CUT THEM OUT and they haven't been back since. Some people really respond well to the freezing, and I am not one of them. I had warts on my elbow I went through the same crap with and they didn't go away until I just got them cut out. That would take one thing out of your already crazy schedule. You might be sore for a few days, but that's it.

Third, why not call and make an appt with a counselor? You have a lot on your plate, and it would probably really help to have an objective ear, ya know?

And as far as the bf goes, just remember that he is going through a lot too. I am not saying he isn't handling it all wrong, but he can't be everything to you - no one person can be. And you don't know that he gave it to you. You could have had this a long time and are just now showing it. Just because you had a negative test - and I am not sure what test you had done - doesn't mean you didn't have it. In any case, I am sure he didn't know he had it, and I am sensing some resentment towards him, and if you have the type of hpv that causes cervical changes, he wouldn't have any sign that he had it.

I would also talk to your doc about an antidepressant. I have been on them before, when I was going through a lot of similiar stuff, and it really helped.

Hang in there hon!
Jess

I asked my doctor specifically about pain. She said that taking advil before the procedure can lessen the pain of residual cramping after the procedure, but I would still feel the pinch of the biopsy. She said taking advil wouldn't prevent it, that would be like saying I am going to take two advil and then have someone punch me in the arm.. I am still going to fell the punch, but the bruising and swelling afterwards might not hurt as bad.

She said it is a quick pinch and you are like "ow, that really hurt" and then it goes away.

She also said that condoms do NOT prevent transmission. And most guys, if they aren't virgins, have the virus, they will just never know. It doesn't affect them ,and they can't get screened for it.

Best of luck to you, keep us updated!

Jess